6/22/10

Forgiveness

My horoscope for today said this:
"...Forgive those who have hurt you and forget the pain you endured, because the negative is pain, but the positive is that it made you stronger."


Last night I had a conversation with a dear friend about how I react when  people cross/hurt/betray me, I established that the technique I deal with such hurt is revenge. I never seek the payback or look to hurt them on purpose, it, at all times seems to fall right on my lap and I have been guilty of taking advantage of the situation to make them feel the pain that they made me feel. In my mind I’m teaching them a lesson but looking back at my “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” behavior, I hope I went about my damage differently.
I strongly believe that it is better to let karma do it’s job and just walk away, yes as the victim, with my head held up high and no dirt on my hands.
I’m not perfect. Experiences are what shape me and you, good ones and bad ones, more bad ones than good because the bad ones are the ones that make us stronger.

XoXo
A new me

14 comments:

MissCurious said...

r u and ur boo still together?

Natalie said...

Sigh, I'm not where you are yet with forgiveness and letting go of revenge but I will be. I do the same and make them feel the way I did. It's not like a relentless pursuit or anything but still it's unhealthy...

xxo

Elva said...

Very well written. I know exactly how you feel about the forgiveness thing. I used to be too passive, then too aggressive, now I just let things happen.

nita_ss54 said...

damn..hella nosey...smh! close call with fate...and Karma is my date, but I choose to let the suspect hate...and they can get irate...cause soon karma is the one they'll hate!

-nita

L. said...

Fool of the year award goes out to your ex. If I was a man I would've never let you walk away from me, believe that.

Wasted Talent said...

I forgive, but NEVER forget. Its great to see Karma slap a bitch in the face after they hurt/betray/cross me. :)

BTW, I love the photo you used, what did you use to edit it to make it look like a Polaroid!?

Kelly said...

I had to learn this lesson the hard way......i'm very, very hard headed so I didn't learn until shxt came close to getting really chaotic. Another thing about not forgiving people is that you carry that hurt around with you, and you take it out on everybody, including the people who care about you and love you, the ones that don't deserve it and it's not fair to them. In a way, i'm happy I learned the hard way because not only did I weed the people out that didn't have my back unconditionally, but I also have regret to remind me of the consequences of not letting go of certain things and taking your anger out on the people you love. Now I let God deal with the people that do me wrong, and he does it better than I ever could. ;-)

Reggie said...

NEBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I missed you doll!!!!!!! And you look sexy as usual!

Leyla said...

I never wait for Karma to come back and hit that person in the face, I eliminate that person from my mind and I never, ever, look back.

In the heat of the moment, when someone does me wrong, all I have to do is think of Judgement Day where we will all be standing naked in front of each other with nothing to offer except for our good and bad deeds and right then and there, the person who betrayed me can come over and beg for my forgiveness and I will have the choice whether I accept the apology or not, and God will only forgive that person if the betrayed one does too.

So go on with your bad self and play all the games you want and make sure you enjoy them, because your time on earth is not unlimited, God knows when we shall meet again.

Nebby said...

Most of you have been there with me from the start, you have seen relationships come n go and i appreciate the ones that never judged me.
I left my relationship because he lied and betrayed me, I felt like i put my all into that relationship and gave it my best, only for him to go and destroy not only our relationship but our friendship as well. I found out the hard way that he's NOT a good person, it's so much more complicated and personal to even get into.
I'm I hurt...YES but am I content in leaving him behind...HELL FUCKING YEA. I know my worth and what I deserve, my standards are set and if you can't meet them then i'm out.
Thanks for all the wise words ;)

Breezi F. said...

Aww Nebby You handle things so well. You really give off such a positive vibe. Like many of us, we been rockin' with you for a minute and I appreciate when you show your just a normal girl who goes through what we do! I look up to you because your like my blog big sister, vicariously of course! LOL But thanks for setting such a good example of how a strong woman goes on, of course you hurt but you know ur sooo much better than that!!! Loves you!!!

Pretty Manny said...

Good for u girl too many women stay wit bad men jus b/c they fear bein alone, or cuz they dont want 2 let them go. It takes a real woman who knows her worth to walk away from anything less. Trust me now that u've kicked him 2 the curb he'll b comin back around in no time, and when he does jus make sure 2 laugh in his face. hehe

T said...

Neb, per our bbm convo you know i'm going through some similar stuff and it hurts like hell but I know I deserve better and so do you! I wanted to punch every person who said "Everything happens for a reason and it's his loss." I know they meant well but damn...that shit doesn't help the pain. So I wont say that, but I will say knowing my self worth and knowing that I deserve better made me realize that I want to be with someone who uplifts my self worth not someone who drags it down. You're a strong woman who is beautiful inside and out and made a hard, yet good decision by dropping that LOSER. You inspire me to keep my head up and keep it moving forward. Sending positive love from cali!
xoxo - T

Amena Lee said...

preach girl. PREACH!!!!