Fake it till you make it

There is always something I take notice of that just slaps me right in the face with amazement.

A friend of mine and I were discussing my obsession with everything “diverse” when it comes to sex and we started to talk about “squirting” and how I was so astounded with it. He mentioned how he once was responsible for this one girl squirting and he thought it was the nastiest shit ever. He went on to declare “I thought she pissed on me, my dick went limp right after that shit” LMAO

I know to each his own and not everybody is warmhearted about everything “different” but what astonished me the most was when he added “… I had to fake it after that”

HOLD UP NOW HOLD UP!!! Bring it back now reeeeeeeeewind

Did he just say FAKE it?! I thought it was just us ladies who were blessed with such a talent, wtf you mean you faked it?! And he was pleased to explain cuz he added “oh shit I’m bout to cum I’m bout to cum…oooo shit! Mmm damn!” “and I pulled out” LMAO

I don’t know about you but I thought that shit was side-splitting who knew men faked it!?

Being the type of lady who has probably faked it 89% of the time, this news was mind-boggling to me.

xo SMH xo


Anonymous said...

lmao at the reeeeewind nebby u r the truuuuuth

India said...

lmao yes they fake..

but how fuck u wont know ur man came if it was ur man cuz I better see that cum somewhere in my body no excuses lmao that only happens to one nite stands or suttin

Marcus McFly said...

Zineb I dont even know what to comment first boo. You already know, per our BBM conversation, that I hate squirting.

*And to the readers, NO, I'm not the homie she was referring to in the post- although I might as well have been*

I've faked my shit so many times its ridiculous. Women think they were the only ones afforded such privileges? Please. I can fake tears too boo.

If I turn madd sensitive on your ass, and get on my Maxwell Pretty Wings steeze, you know I didnt fake it. Word to the wise.

You know who said...

Sooo.. I've faked it at least 4 times in my life. With the same girl.

A couple of things came into play. (no pun intended).

1. We were fucking about 4 or 5 times a day, everyday. So sometimes, by the 5th go round, the tank just wasn't as full with petro as it may have been during go 1 or go 2. So the car would feel like it was stopping before I hit the brakes. Or the gas. Whatever.

2. Boredom. If the shit just ain't exciting, it's hard (no pun intended) to stay excited. And sometimes I just had to be like, "Aight, I've had enough of this..".

3. Pills. I was fucking with a lot of pills at that time. Different meds and shit being mixed, and I was abusing my knowledge of the psychiatric attention I was getting to get certain prescriptions that I knew would make me fuck for hours at will. Why not? Any young and hungry man would do the same if he had the opportunity, right? So sometimes I'd just not be feeling it. Literally.

Now here's where things get a little funny.

Years later I got with another girl who maintained the same level of 'activity' with me as the aforementioned fakee. But never did I need to fake anything with her. Legit. Too legit sometimes, that I'd have to quit mid-round and take a breather. No shame in my game. Or lack there of.

As for the squirting thing, a man shouldn't be turned off by something that happens as a result of the pleasure you're able to provide someone else. The first time that happened to me, I was so stoked that I kept the Wu-Tang wristband I was wearing when it happened, in a box. LMAO. I actually still have it. Weird? Yes. Trophy-esque? Yes.

I don't mind when it happens, and actually like it a lot. I find that the girls feel more awkward about it than anything else, but realistically, unless you're wetting up something that can't be cleaned afterwards, it ain't a big fucking deal. (pun intended).

Have fun people.. and be safe.

Patent Online Magazine said...


I've never even thought of a guy faking it lol, won't his dick just get limp... lol there's noo sex after that, unless his homegirl like's em' soft n short LMFAO!!!

Funny post, Nebby....