7/28/09

Fave Reader: Confused


Ok, this is on some I need your advice tip. My mother had a bad marriage with my pops and I was 9 when the divorce went down. Now Im 20 and my sister is going through MAJOR marriage problems... do you think that that is a reason to be turned off marriage or...

Signed...
CONFUSED.



Confused,

I was around a whole lot of divorce/getting back together/divorce/still living together/seperation from when i was 5 until i completely seperated my self from it at age 21. it can be a very unfortunate situation to go through and no one can understand it unless they themselves have gone through something similar. I went through a phase where; because of my father, HATED men and disrespected them and until this day I still have relationship/trust/love issues when it comes to men.
Even though the things that a person experienced show up again in their own life, I have been told to take it as a lesson, to try to do better and even switch up the cycle. it's so much easier said than done of course but it's def. worth a shot.
Your sister's marriage problems could be due to issues SHE hasn't completely dealt with/chapters that have never been closed, orrr.... it could be that it's just what it is...problems but she needs to realize that it is up to her and whether she wants to fix things and move on orr......blame it on the past, pointing fingers is always the easiest way out and to be completely honest this is def. something I, myself continue to work on, it's better to take experiences as lessons and to just keep it moving. Hope all works out.

Neb

5 comments:

Liya said...

Since nebby wrote a blog about a book she came into contact with recently, I figured this blog would be a good time to let y'all know about a book called "eat,pray,love" by elizabeth gilbert (was also featured on oprah!). I read it at a time when I was very confused about my life and relationships and this book helped clear alot up for me. I highlighted so many passaged from the book and refer to them when im confused.

Here's an exerpt:
"The problem is that people dont understand what the word soulmate means. People think soul mate is your perfect fit, and thats what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything thats holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so that you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave."

Nebby said...

that sounds sooo interesting!!! i shall pick it up!

Anonymiss said...

I read Eat Pray Love... great book but it did nothing for my actual life, I've never read a book that impacted my life or helped me with the baggage of my past which continually haunts and taunts me. And I read A LOT. It's a great read though.

Anonymous said...

I hear that! It def sounds better to use it as a lesson & try to switch things up when I get into relations than point the finger and treat dudes like dirt or be scared that I am incapable of being successful in love/marriage/relationships cz of my mom & sis. Thanks a lot for replying Neb, means a lot xo.

-confused

Nebby said...

no prob luv hope all works out!