Nebzilla

It’s not a poem

It’s not a song

It’s what’s on my mind

I have developed a bad habit

Maybe bad for you because it’s good for me

Every single night, a different album on repeat

Same pure feeling

To the point where it feels so good I don’t want to sleep

Feels like the whole city is sleeping

It looks the brightest but I can tell no one is up

I’ve had a permanent smile on my face for the past God knows how many days

Why should i have to count anyway

My cheeks hurt so nicely from smiling

Someone even told me that I was being fake

I didn’t even bother asking why…

Sometimes I’m laughing at me, sometimes I laugh at you…

Of course you would take that the wrong way

I’m tired of protecting your feelings, you’re gonna hear what I have to say

Look, i’m not pretending because no one is paying me to pretend,  I wouldn’t even accept the offer

Let’s both save the time and energy

Look what happened the other day in Japan

Doesn’t that break your heart??

That’s something that’s bigger than the things you complain about…

I can’t please all of you, even though you want me to

Too positive she said …

As if that’s supposed to be a bad thing

Honestly, hate is a waste of emotion and time

Being brutally honest is ok

You can say exactly what you want to say, just mean it

The past is for learning

You wanna see me slip up so bad

Not gonna happen

My vision is bigger

Better

If my friend heard me right now she would scream “YOU CAN’T SAVE EVERYONE!!”

why not ?? I saved myself didn’t I??

*this would be where she gets silent*

I have always been that one person that would touch the pot even if you tell me it’s hot

What if it’s not that bad…

What if my skin is thicker ??

Think about it, why wouldn’t you wanna channel a different feeling

Practice a different emotion

What’s the worse that could happen?

You end up a better person?

They call it everything except for what it is…

Sinful

Dirty

Cocky

When I moved to your world no one told me I couldn’t say or do what I wanted…

My mother even said we were leaving home for a better life

It’s not better at allYou love pointing the finger and the fighter in me wants to break it off of you

Remember back in school when the teacher asked us what we wanted to be?

I told her something different every day

I wasn’t confused

I just wanted to do it all

I don’t have to be what you want me to be

It’s not me, It’s you

I’m in love with everything about me right now

Especially the rare beautiful One of A Kinds I keep at a hands reach

They’re nothing crazy

Some are friends, some are family, some are acquaintances, some are coworkers, some are mind blowing individuals

My point is, the feeling is always mutual

We can relate to each other and i don’t know if i’m supposed to share this since there are only a few of us but we don’t get along with a lot of you…

Not because we are better

Try not to take this so personal but we can’t relate to you, we even tried…

What is important to you is NOT important to us…

vice versa

It might be too deep to digest and accept but at least understand it

Maybe then you can embrace it

Hating on it because you don’t comprehend it is a weak use of emotion

It’s not for everyone…

A part of me hopes I didn’t confuse you

If i did, it just wasn’t meant to be…