Divorce Letter

Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P. S. don't try to find me.
Your SISTER & I are moving away to
West Virginia together!
Have a great life!

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Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years,


although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.  I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping; too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week,


but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' And since my Mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.So, when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!


P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this,


but my sister Carla was born Carl.


I hope that's not a problem.