11/7/09

"You need to man the fuk up!"



...is how i basically grew up.
Something bad happens, Neb you need to suck it up and move the fuck on.

I think this is where most of my issues come from. Not a lot of people can make me cry, u know what fuk people. I just don't cry like a normal person does. I hate that I don't cry when I'm "supposed to" I think if I cried more i would feel more alive. I remember after a break up i sat in my car played all sad music and tried to make myself cry to be able to just go thru some kind of emotion and I swear...NOTHING i looked like a complete idiot fake sobbing tryin to get ahold of some emotion #FAIL! lol
I'm so used to bottling shit up and just having it all overflow and deal with it all on a certain day but that can;t be good on anyone's health.

xo
Neb

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You need to find a way to fight that emotional or you will have hard time expressing yourself.

Nebby said...

that's very true. Even tho i dont feel like i have a hard time expressing my emotions, i only express them to the right people and sometimes when i do hold shit in and i finally express allll of the emotions that have been bottled for yrs the person im talkin to just looks at me like O_O damn neb where was this shit all hidin lol it's something i'm working on. admiting to my issue is step 1 no? ;)

AYO! stephie said...

I kinda know what you mean. Except my situation is the total opposite. When I was really young, I used to cry over EVERYTHING. As soon as someone was yelling at me/making fun of me I bust out in tears. I guess I cried myself out of tears? lol.

I remember when my mother told me she had cancer & I had to see her go through a lot of shit... I still couldn't cry. I think crying makes situations easier. Well, maybe not easier but when you get the crying part out the way, you can focus on the actual situation & how to handle it. I think crying kind of cleanses your soul.

Anonymous said...

Yes its true holding it in makes it worst. I been there with someone they hold it all in and one day the jst explode. All those bubbled up emotions can ruin someone. Find that one person you rely on that one person you can express and vent no matter what you have to deal with. Say whatver it is. But as well make sure its someone you trust with all your heart. A loyal friend, ur sister. I was the ears for someone in your position. Holding up emotions holds up anger. You dnt want that.

And yes admiting you have an issue is the first step.. Pats you on the back.

Kd

Elva said...

Wearing your heart on your sleeve isn't always the safest thing to do although they say it's the healthiest. I personally think healthy is knowing how to handle your emotions. Bottling them up might not be good but if you have your ways of release and if there is, in fact, a release then you're good. I do the same thing & think I'm perfectly sane. We all have our days though.

Cass said...

Nah Neb... i totally agree with you. I most def know what you mean. Its hard to change this emotion though... i mean, how do you make yourself cry? When i can't cry for something that i should be crying for it makes me feel so cold-hearted. But it's not that i don't care, it's just that it's easy for me to move on with life... Life Goes On right?!?
And keeping things bottled up is another issue as well. But as i said, these things are hard to change, i've tried. It doesn't work. It sucks at times cause i wanna be able to speak out on how i feel or even cry about it... but NADA!

Natosh Monroe said...

Yea I think I get where you're coming from hun. But for me after being hurt one too many times Ive put up a wall and really cant connect on that deep level i see in the movies and read about in the sappy love books because of it..I dont deeply to the core love anyone..Is that fucked? And the crying...at one point I thought I ran out..i think one day you will reach a poit where they will flow naturally if they arent coming it may be that u have put a a really strong wall..it didnt happen over night so dont expect it to disappear overnight...some ppl arent worth ur precious tears anyways..*hugs*