9/27/09

Psycho Phone Bitch

My friend calls me last night, let's call her Toolia (i can name her whatever i want don't hate) I was busy so I did not answer on the first call, she calls again, now i know it's important and I rush to the phone to call her back as she calls back. Me: "yaaaaaaaaaaaaao" Her: "you would NOT fukin believe the shit that continues to fukin happen in my life like WTF is wrong with guys these days?! I'm always like i need to fukin find a good dude but I'm really starting to give up, yea that's it ima just give up fuk it!" Me: "oh I'm doing great how are you?!?!? are you ok" Her: "I'm sorry hi boo how ar you? thats good let me tell you wtf happened to me. I'm at work a sexy man walks in my job and i pay him no mind cuz I'm busy working, gotta pay these bills know what im saying?! He clearly sees that i'm not paying him no mind but I'm not blind tho he was sooooo sexy, he was caramel, you know like how you have coffee and you poor a lil extra milk in there and it's the perfect shade?! he was that shade, he had tats in allll the right places and a smile to die for- because i didn't talk to him he went to my co-worker and said here, give your friend my # if she wants to use it,it would mean a lot to me" Me: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN OMG SOOOO U CALLED RIGHT?!? WHAT'S HIS STORY WHAT DOES HE LIKE WHAT DOES DO FOR FUN WHERE DOES HE WORK, DOES HE HAVE KIDS? DID HE COME BACK? DID U FUKIN CALL HIM?! U BETTER HAVE CALLED HIM IF ANYONE KNOWS IT'S ME AND I KNOW U NEED SOME GOOD IN UR DAMN LIFE!" Her: "he is a pro. baseball player" Me: ... OK? Her: "well if you would calm down i can finish the story for you...anyway I waited about 3 days (i dont know why ppl wait like wtf are we putting time limits on shit like this for it's 2009) and i text him saying HI " Me: annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd??? Her: "and i get a phone call today from a girl FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT (now I'm in shock but i can't help but laugh) asking me if i know _*insert asshole's name here*___ and if he picked me up and how she's his girl and she lives with him, and i could hear his dumb ass in the background telling her to hang up the damn phone" Me: *silence* .... well....what did you say.... Her: "I just told her that I'm too grown for this shit and I'm sure she's grown too, to lose my # and tell _*insert small penis' name here*___ to lose my # too " Me: so.... Her: Ain't no hope man, all these dudes are the same *she hangs up* UGH! MY POOR BABY! I have been a victim of the "WHO IS THIS" call and it's pathetic. First of all...you are calling ME and you are asking ME who I AM?! i don't think so, i DO NOT put up with that bullshit, don't waste your time cuz I wont be answering any of your questions, I'm just gonna laugh at you and hang up. Have you been a victim? Better yet have YOU been the psycho phone bitch...ever?

22 comments:

Amena Lee said...

i once got a psycho call from a chick talkin bout 'i see your calls on my mans phone a little too often, who the fuh u think u are'

lol, turns out her man was my damn COUSIN!

After I called her out and put the fear of God in her, she begs me not to tell my cuz, bout just let me know if hes being faithful.

I've never in my life hung up the phone so quick.

trick.

Nebby said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!! omg

missmelissaanne said...

i've been the psycho phone bitch before haha...with my boyfriend's ex who was steady calling him every five minutes even though he never answered. it was definitely nnott my best moment.

the only difference was i knew her name and she tried to pretend she was someone else (i could fully hear her friend in the background too, telling her stuff like "say your name is *insertnamehere*!!"). and then for some reason SHE turned into the psycho phone bitch and started yelling at ME. i ended up hanging up on her while she was getting all crazy because i got bored after 5 minutes haha.

....and that is my story. haha

Nebby said...

Well you get a pass for that cuz she was calling your boo non stop but dont ever call an unknown female cuz ur boo is the one pickin em up XO

Anonymous said...

GUILTY! i have been the psycho phone bitch, some guys just make you do crazy shit sometimes :/

Anonymous said...

i've been a victim. similar story to amena lee... 'who the f is u and why u callin my man u triflin ___' when her man was my boy (like a brother). i still think dudes enjoy the psycho b* 'cause i know all my dudes wifeys are psycho... hmmmmm they love it! SMH Some dudes use it to get rid of other b*es they mess w. tho

Reggie said...

When I use to have these "calls", my attention span is like MAD short after 12am, so when they call and asking my stupid questions ON MY PHONE, I usually curse them out in spanish. And then hang up. And turn my phone off.

I got this one call from my friend's boyfriend and he was like,"why you keep calling my girl? You trying to get with her?"

I simply said "I am gay. We are best friends. You shouldn't play "Inspector Gadget at 5 am in the fucking morning. Not a good look, homie."

He was obvious insecure. Asshole.

Nebby said...

bahahahahah Reggie! ur the best.

Anonymous said...

shit i've never been victim but this is hella funny ... theres a 1st 4 everything so if/when this does happen i kno how 2 react!

Nebby said...

YES! laugh HYSTERICALLY and hang up

Lydia said...

yess Nebby!!! je suis d'accord, laugh hysterycally and hang up or what I did once, press the phone's buttons(my phone is madd loud) to make her ears bleed, bitch boo bye ..*click*

Nebby said...

LMAO!!!!!! i know exactly what ur talking about u guys r killing me each comment is funnier than the other

Shakiyah Ivory said...

Omgeesh this has happened to me just this summer but the thing was I been dealing with this dummy for like 5 years....and this psycho bxtch calls me while yelling at him and then she goes on to text me and tell me shes wifey........and two weeks later she calls me again from her number (psycho steals my number) and asks was he with me.....okay your crazy why do you continue to contact me...Bye Psycho get ya man straight don't worry about me....smh straight coonery

Ms. MusiQ said...

I've never been a "psycho phone bitch" but an ex and I have simular #'s and he mistakenly gave another girl my # (clearly he's a genius!)...

The first time she called, she hesitated to ask for him and just said she had the wrong number. I asked if she was looking for *insert whack dude's name* and she said no and hung up. A few weeks later, she called again, heard my voice and hung up on me. Because I remembered the #, I rolled over, hit him in his side and asked him to stop giving people my #....

Good day.

Nebby said...

so gangsta

Anonymous said...

i have never been the psycho bitch,
but i've experienced the psycho bitch. my boyfriend at the time and i were together for about 6 months, and we were dealing with the whole long distance thing..and you know when a motherfucker is cheating? well i just had that female intitution..and i would confront him about it ALL the time, but he would deny it i was like okay whatever.

sooo one day he calls me and tells
me he has to tell me something..i was like alright..i knew he was gunna say he had some bitch on the side..he said he had sex with another girl..and wanted to be with her..i was like good for you, hope she was worth it..

so then he calls be back..and said
im so sorry i don't wanna break up with you, i know it's hard to believe but i made that up, my mom just wanted us to break up..i was like WHAT in the fuck is going on?!

he was like she wants to call you just play along..so the broad calls me, this bitch was definitely no fucking mother. she sounded like she was a 14 year old girl. she was coming at me, tryna shit on me and blow up my spot..at first i was just laughing..then i just fucking exploded on the hick bitch and on him, would a mother comment on how big their son's dick is? and how good they are? uhm, i think fucking not. (his dick wasn't even all that great lmfao)

but moral to that storyy, when a nigga says a bitch is his mom, blow up his spot..and curse that trick out. just making somee lame excuses.

Breezi F said...

I never been the victim of the psycho bitch ova the phone BUT what about the psycho internet bitches, that sends a msg via Myspace or Facebook tryin to curse u out bout being on their man's friendslist or a comment? Those bitches sleigh me!

Nebby said...

UGH!!! those are another story SMH

Sim said...

Lol lol lol, the story of the last anonymous is the true definition of a 'psycho bitch'. How the hell are you going to ask your jumpoff to call your girl and have her pretending to be your mother? That's some real telenovela shit.

TRè said...

Ima bring my crew to TDOT. You can call us Good Guy Inc. I use to go for the baddest one now.. I'll settle for a chick with some sense.

AnitaH SparkZ said...

I'm 26 yrs old...so you know I've had my share of psycho broads callin' me.....

I've had baby moms, exes, more baby moms, dumb chicks, stupid ho's and more baby moms....

I can write a book on how many calls I've gotten...and mind you it's alot of insecure broads calling me when I'm only friends with there man..

But I never understood the psycho baby moms until I became one...

I was living with my daughters father when she was first born....and we got in a fight one day...I was ready to kick him out...his bro wanted to talk to me to smooth things out with us...after I got of the phone woman intuition told me to look thru his phone, first time I ever looked in a guys phone...went in it found some chick named LOCA...texting him saying "I can't wait until you leave ur babymom so we can be together" I went super duper psycho...I made sure I took that number down and call that bitch...my daughter was only 3mths and she texting that shieeet......


lol

she denied it as usual and I kicked him out and we ain't together


end of story

bless!

mea.banks said...

lol i got a psycho bitch with the wrong fuccin number. she thought i was someone else ... i guess she took the number down incorrectly out of her mans phone... she was definitely not calling me Melanie ... anywho ..since she stalked my phone for about 3 weeks.. i ended up finding out who the girl was.. and it turns out i knew her boyfriend and she did take the incorrect number down. she does not look at me the same. #crazybitches....

All the other lames that call me private. I know who u are. -_- ... and just to let you know... i value my sleep... AND yes he sleeps right beside me lol #crazybitches.