Psycho Phone Bitch
My friend calls me last night, let's call her Toolia (i can name her whatever i want don't hate) I was busy so I did not answer on the first call, she calls again, now i know it's important and I rush to the phone to call her back as she calls back. Me: "yaaaaaaaaaaaaao" Her: "you would NOT fukin believe the shit that continues to fukin happen in my life like WTF is wrong with guys these days?! I'm always like i need to fukin find a good dude but I'm really starting to give up, yea that's it ima just give up fuk it!" Me: "oh I'm doing great how are you?!?!? are you ok" Her: "I'm sorry hi boo how ar you? thats good let me tell you wtf happened to me. I'm at work a sexy man walks in my job and i pay him no mind cuz I'm busy working, gotta pay these bills know what im saying?! He clearly sees that i'm not paying him no mind but I'm not blind tho he was sooooo sexy, he was caramel, you know like how you have coffee and you poor a lil extra milk in there and it's the perfect shade?! he was that shade, he had tats in allll the right places and a smile to die for- because i didn't talk to him he went to my co-worker and said here, give your friend my # if she wants to use it,it would mean a lot to me" Me: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN OMG SOOOO U CALLED RIGHT?!? WHAT'S HIS STORY WHAT DOES HE LIKE WHAT DOES DO FOR FUN WHERE DOES HE WORK, DOES HE HAVE KIDS? DID HE COME BACK? DID U FUKIN CALL HIM?! U BETTER HAVE CALLED HIM IF ANYONE KNOWS IT'S ME AND I KNOW U NEED SOME GOOD IN UR DAMN LIFE!" Her: "he is a pro. baseball player" Me: ... OK? Her: "well if you would calm down i can finish the story for you...anyway I waited about 3 days (i dont know why ppl wait like wtf are we putting time limits on shit like this for it's 2009) and i text him saying HI " Me: annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd??? Her: "and i get a phone call today from a girl FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT (now I'm in shock but i can't help but laugh) asking me if i know _*insert asshole's name here*___ and if he picked me up and how she's his girl and she lives with him, and i could hear his dumb ass in the background telling her to hang up the damn phone" Me: *silence* .... well....what did you say.... Her: "I just told her that I'm too grown for this shit and I'm sure she's grown too, to lose my # and tell _*insert small penis' name here*___ to lose my # too " Me: so.... Her: Ain't no hope man, all these dudes are the same *she hangs up* UGH! MY POOR BABY! I have been a victim of the "WHO IS THIS" call and it's pathetic. First of all...you are calling ME and you are asking ME who I AM?! i don't think so, i DO NOT put up with that bullshit, don't waste your time cuz I wont be answering any of your questions, I'm just gonna laugh at you and hang up. Have you been a victim? Better yet have YOU been the psycho phone bitch...ever?